I feel sometimes that the culture we live in can make it a little hard to be completely present. As I sit with Kaden to read him a book I hear my e-mail go off, & my mind is distracted, wondering what it is. Then two pages later I think of something I want to get him for Christmas, and am tempted to grab my phone and price it out on Amazon. While on my phone I’ll clear my Instagram notifications, and add a few things to my grocery list, before I forget. But I really just want to focus on being with him and reading his book.
I absolutely love having a newborn, and toddler, and I want to fully be here for it. So one day last week I made a commitment to myself that I would leave my phone in the kitchen for the day. I’d go in there to respond to a text or make a phone call, but didn’t need it sitting by me (or in my hand) all day. I debated whether or not I really wanted to do that beforehand, but loved how freeing it was – I felt like I was really with my kids all day, & didn’t have to fight the urge to respond to emails, check on our bank account, or refresh my Pinterest feed. Not that any of that’s bad – I really enjoy the organization, creativity, and functionality from my iPhone – but I don’t like fighting the distracted thoughts of what I could be or should be doing while I’m with my babies. It’s so easy to pick up my phone for one thing, & then do 5 more while I’m on there, when I don’t actually want to be doing any of it right then.
I read this quote by Casey Wiegand (love her blog – check her out) and it really connected with me:
“I didn’t want to be on my phone or computer when my kids were awake. I wanted to be living life.”
Because I don’t want to miss looking in Alia’s eyes as she nurses, or watching her fall asleep. I want to engage in conversation with Kaden and really give him my attention, not just an absent-minded “uh-huh” to his (many) questions while my mind is drawn in somewhere else.
I don’t want to miss anything.
I want to experience this:
No matter where life takes us, if someday we’re millionaires, travel the world, & live in the most beautiful places, I don’t think anything could ever top our life with these two right now.
I don’t exactly have the whole balance figured out yet. I don’t want to be without technology all day everyday – it’s great at times, just not all the time – and right now I am really enjoying more separation.
Enjoying the little things.